It wasn't fully understood to Brendan at the time, but testes are important. He may not have comprehended how crucial they are, but he was aware that being kicked in the scrotum hurts. A lot.
And now, the story:
'Twas a dark and stormy night, several years ago. Brendan was minding his own business, as usual...
"GAAAAAHHHH!" His piercing scream echoed through the chuch courtyard.
Piercing?
Well, he was a few years shy of puberty.
Poor kid.
Brendan and his friend Pedro had to be on constant lookout for Emily, for she found great pleasure in the smashing of male genetalia.
She would chase them around the church, bringin' on the pain as much as she could.
All of the adults, of course, thought it was cute and funny. They didn't do anything about it.
Brendan decided it was time to take matters into his own hands.
The next time Emily made a pass for his jewels, he went straight for a kick to the boobs.
Note to self: it's okay for a girl to kick a guy in the balls, but kicking a girl in the breasts afterwards gets said boy in trouble.
Bullshit
Bullshit!
I know. Bull. Oh well, nobody said life was fair. In the immortal, slightly skewed words of Eric Matthews: "Life's tough. Get a cup."
Seriously, writing this made my balls hurt.
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